I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
