She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Im part way to drunk.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
