You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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