I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize