We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
