the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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