She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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