I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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