why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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