dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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