a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
