ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
