i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
