Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
