let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
