Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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