How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
