So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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