Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
