bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
