Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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