Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
