My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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