and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
