I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
