They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
