Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
