Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
