I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
