shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
