Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
