I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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