I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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