thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
