Only a mothe r could love this liver
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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