Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
