i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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