I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
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I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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