she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
