At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
