did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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