And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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