peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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