I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
