She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
