Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
