the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
