I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
