i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
