If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
