i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
