No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize