the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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