FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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