So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
