i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
