Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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