Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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