Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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