"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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