girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
