I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
