Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize