I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
